


We stumble, we fall

by Drago



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, BoA is a dick, But also, Changmin is a dick, Divorce, F/M, Happy Ending, I'm as surprised as you are, JaeJoong isn't a dick, M/M, parental complex, so you've been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-09 02:17:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11659563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drago/pseuds/Drago
Summary: They've been married for a year when Changmin filed for a divorce.





	1. Chapter 1

Yunho is going to get through this without breaking. He is going to survive, like he survived everything else. He just has to look straight ahead, straight ahead until they are done. He doesn’t even know why they are here, it should be simple, they signed a prenup because the company insisted, and Yunho requested a no-fault divorce. His lawyer tried to explain everything to him, but he didn’t want to know. Because in the end, it doesn’t matter at all.  
He is asked about the already fading bruise on his cheek, and he says it’s not from Changmin even though it is. It was an accident, it never happened before. It was their last, grand fight, he was trying to stop Changmin from leaving, the younger man turned around too fast with one hand raised, and it collided with Yunho’s cheek hard enough to leave a bruise. It wasn’t done on purpose, so he wouldn’t use that against his partner. Ex-partner. Even if it were… he probably still wouldn’t do that. He is useless against Changmin, he is well aware of that.  
They’ve been married for less than a year. Yunho always considered himself to be very perceptive, but he hasn’t noticed that something was wrong until it was too late. One minute Changmin was professing his love, another – he was saying that it’s not working, and he wants a divorce. It wasn’t gradual, there was no time for him to prepare for the heartbreak. He tried to save their relationship. He begged, he argued, he tried to rationalize, but his attempts were met with a wall. Changmin showed no interest in fixing things. He left.  
Yunho is a much better actor than people give him credit for. He is so good at it that no one at work noticed that something is off. Not many people knew about their relationship, so he couldn't suddenly stop talking to the younger man. He doesn’t want to anyway, but simply looking at Changmin makes him ache all over. His rock is gone, and he is crumbling on the inside. But he dances, sings, goes to fan meetings and does fanservice when the company tells him to. He’s spent too much time building his career to destroy it because of a guy. He just wants to know why. They’ve been together for six years before they got married, Changmin admitted to liking him even before that. Love like theirs doesn’t suddenly disappear without a trace.  
He isn’t given any answers.  
His lawyer whispers that there will be only one more meeting, and Yunho knows it should make him feel better, but it means that they will be officially divorced. He was thinking about signing adoption papers not divorce ones. He goes straight to bed after getting home, not bothering with undressing. Those meetings exhaust him more than any concert he’s ever given. He sleeps for six hours straight and wakes up around midnight. He isn’t hungry, but he forces himself to eat some instant ramen. He’s already lost too much weight. Their fans are delighted, but he doubts they’d be singing praises if he gets sick, and it’s a thin, thin line when you are already not feeling so good about yourself. He goes back to sleep.  
Heechul calls him early in the morning, “You should tell them he hit you.”  
“It was an accident,” Yunho says tiredly, they’ve already discussed it repeatedly.  
“It doesn’t matter, he still did it,” Heechul is out for blood, and Yunho really appreciates his loyalty, but war is the last thing he needs. He tries to eat eggs for breakfast, but he only manages few bites before his stomach revolts. He is already used to throwing up food. Twenty minutes later the company car picks him up, and his driver merrily chats about the date he went on. Yunho likes his driver, the older man was very professional at first, barely talking to him, but it didn’t take long for them to become quite close. Yunho doesn’t mind listening about dating and love, knowing that it can exist in other people’s lives brings him comfort. When they arrive he sits in the car for a few more minutes, and the driver lets him without a comment.  
It’s going to be alright. He just has to endure.

Yunho is thirty three and he can call himself a divorcée. He wants to get drunk, but he doesn’t because they have a rehearsal the next day, and he is too responsible to ignore that. Changmin looks as calm as ever, and why would he feel anything, but relief? He was the one who wanted it. Instead of getting drunk, Yunho calls his mom and cries for almost fifteen minutes while she patiently listens. She doesn’t try to console him with words, she knows that they won’t make him feel any better. She tells him to eat something, and he manages half a sandwich before he falls asleep in his cold bed.  
Changmin doesn’t exactly avoid him, but their interactions are limited to the minimum. Bile rises in Yunho’s throat every time their skin touches. They touch a lot, almost every choreography requires them to be close, and he wonders whether Changmin noticed that. Whether he cares. Probably not, he must have stopped caring long time ago. Sometimes, Yunho catches him looking, but if he is waiting for a mental breakdown then he will be sorely disappointed. Yunho leaves his feelings securely locked up in his flat.  
It’s pathetic, but he has no idea what to do with himself when he is not working. No book or movie manages to hold his attention, music makes him think about his… ex-husband. Even in his head, it sounds wrong. They were so good together, better than any other couple he knows. They completed each other perfectly, and he isn’t sure how he is supposed to exist without his other half. His flat is a mess, even though he doesn’t spend much time in it, and even then he mostly lies in bed. He tries to clean up, but then he finds something that reminds him of Changmin, and it’s a downward spiral from there.  
He wakes up from his stupor three weeks later. He knows that he’s been working, talking to people, choreographing their dances, meeting with Heechul, but if you asked him to provide details, he wouldn’t be able to recollect anything. He wakes up not because he is feeling any better, but because he finds out that Changmin and Boa are dating. He learns about it from a magazine. It’s not the most reliable source, but there are pictures. Very clear, high quality pictures of Changmin and Boa holding hands, kissing. It suddenly makes sense why Boa stopped calling. She was one of the very few people who _knew_. She was one of his dearest friends.  
For one, scary moment he considers ending his suffering, but that’s not who he is. By the time Soo Man arranges a meeting to discuss the new development, Yunho has a plan. He discusses it with Kangta to make sure that the older man will have his back, and meets with Soo Man fifteen minutes before they are supposed to start. It’s more than enough to convince his boss that his idea is profitable for everyone. He is ready to face both Changmin and Boa, and he looks at them when they enter the room. Changmin keeps his head down, but Boa doesn’t and for a second their eyes meet. She pales and chooses the seat closest to the door, forcing her boyfriend to sit next to Yunho, who can immediately smell Changmin’s cologne. He was the one who bought it, and it makes him so angry that he can’t breathe and misses a bit of what their boss says at the beginning. He smiles when he realizes that Soo Man is scolding people, who used to be his friends, for their inconsideration.  
“Anyway, Yunho came up with a brilliant idea. You two are going to give a few concerts together. Fans seem to be in favour of your relationship, we should use that.”  
Changmin’s voice isn’t quite steady when he asks, “But what about Yunho?”  
“He is going to collaborate with a Japanese dance group. There already have been some preliminary talks, and they are open to the idea.”  
Yunho talked with Wasabeats’s leader to avoid making a fool of himself. They met before, but it didn’t mean that Ryohei would want to work with him. But he did, and he even sounded a bit excited at the prospect of creating a dance show together. It would mean spending a lot of time in Japan while Changmin is busy in Korea. Yunho is fine with that.  
“What about TVXQ? We can’t just stop performing!” the youngest man sounds slightly panicked, but Soo Man waives away his concerns.  
He is allowed to leave early because his project requires less scheduling. He gets ice cream, and eats it whole before he needs to throw up. Still better than it used to be.  
Changmin calls him late at night, and he considers not picking up, but he always, _always_ answers when the younger man calls. He is conditioned to do it.  
“Why… How fucking’ dare you? Do you want to break TVXQ?” Changmin’s speech is slurred, he must be very drunk.  
“We already are broken. But no, we will still appear together from time to time, shouldn’t take more than four months. Everything should be… easier then,” Yunho has no idea where he finds the strength to be so calm while his ex-husband shouts obscenities. He could hang up, yet he listens to the verbal abuse before the line cuts off. He doesn’t understand Changmin’s rage, the other man should be happy – being apart can only help them gain new perspective. They haven’t discussed it yet, but they will have to decide one day what they want to be, how they want to make it work now that they are divorced.  
Yunho stubbornly repeats the word in his head waiting for it to sink in.

***

Japan is cold this time of year, but the air is pleasantly crisp, and Yunho immediately feels calmer. He thought about renting a different flat, but ended up deciding to stay in the one he co-owns with Changmin. The other man is too busy with the upcoming concerts to come to Tokyo. It’s nice and peaceful, he can almost forget what drove him this far. He goes to a small, cheap restaurant with the most incredible udon and tempura, and eats a whole bowl without feeling sick.  
The next day he goes to a meeting with Wasabeats, and realizes that even though it was supposed to be just a distraction, it might actually turn into something great. He’s never been allowed to concentrate on dancing to this extent, which is why it never even crossed his mind to try. He feels at home with a bunch of dance-obsessed people who are excited to try new moves. It’s not just dancing, they also need to come up with a story, and Yunho doesn’t remember when was the last time he had so much fun working. Everyone knows that they aren’t allowed to contribute much to their own music in TVXQ, and that’s especially true for Yunho. He isn’t bitter about it, but finding something you’re really good at is the ego booster he needs after being thrown away like an old, meaningless piece of trash.  
At first, Changmin doesn’t try to contact him. Then the messages start, and Yunho is grateful that the younger man doesn’t try calling. Messages, he can ignore. They can’t be about anything important – if they were, the company would have contacted him. He doesn’t delete them either, they are hanging in limbo. Maybe one day he will be able to look back at everything without feeling sick, but for now it’s better if they stay there unread.  
As much as he loves this new work, it only takes few hours a day. He hangs out with the crew and people he knows in Tokyo as much as he can, but nights get lonely. One time he has a bit too much sake, which results in him messaging a man he really shouldn’t contact. His not-quite-sober brain thinks it’s a brilliant idea. He doesn’t text anything that incriminating, just a single sentence: ‘Sometimes, Japan feels lonely’. But he knows damn well how the other man will take it. There is a lot of history between the three of them, and if Changmin ever learns about it, things are going to get nasty, it won’t matter that their relationship is over, Changmin always had a lot to say about Yunho and JaeJoong.  
Although it stemmed from jealousy, the majority of hatred came from JYJ’s betrayal and the following break up of TVXQ. Changmin isn’t a very forgiving person. They always fought about it, the younger man couldn’t understand that, even though JJ hurt him, Yunho still wanted to keep in touch. Jae was his first everything. First real friend, first lover, first love. Their career choices weren’t what broke them apart, JaeJoong’s deeply ingrained fear did. This is something Yunho can forgive, especially since the JJ has made it glaringly obvious, on many occasions, that he still has feelings for him. Which is yet another reason why messaging him is not only bad, but also unnecessarily cruel. Yunho hasn’t even approached the process of healing, he is still as torn apart as he’s been when Changmin told him that it was just a phase.  
JaeJoong doesn’t text back. But Yunho finds him on his doorstep the next evening, so it doesn’t matter. The older man looks good, but then again – it’s how he always looks. Exceptionally good at maintaining great look even when everything else is shit.  
“I’m sorry I did that,” Yunho blurts out while the other man cooks.  
“Don’t worry about it.”  
“But I don’t want you to have false…”  
“I know, doll, it’s alright.”  
They talk about work while they eat. It’s the first homemade meal for Yunho since came to Japan. He isn’t as hopeless in the kitchen as he used to be, but cooking for one person felt useless and lonely, he couldn’t handle it. Jae doesn’t try to hide his affection, he makes sure to brush against his hands every few minutes.  
It’s nice and calm when JJ drops the bomb, “I came out to my family.”  
Yunho stiffens. For years, the other man refused to tell his family that he is gay. They were always supportive of his career and never mentioned fanservice, but for some reason JaeJoong was sure that they would disown him if they knew. For him, to finally come out, is a huge step.  
“They are fine with it. Actually, they don’t care. I’m almost disappointed. I mean… I worried, for years, about what they are going to think about me when they learn that I can’t love a woman, and it was all… pointless. I wasted years, destroyed the most important relationship in my life for nothing. They even asked if I there was something between you and me.”  
“Jae, I… I’m in a really bad place right now. I can’t, I don’t feel much apart from sadness.”  
“I know, I’m not going to pressure you into anything. I want you to know that I’m finally free. We can enjoy ourselves without going in too deep, right?”  
Yunho wants to say that it’s impossible for them, they will always be too deep for a casual relationship, the tension between them never quite disappears. But he nods because JaeJoong’s eyes are slightly too shiny, he blinks a bit too much, and as much as Yunho is hurting, he can’t let his friend down. 


	2. Chapter 2

JaeJoong’s cock is of average length, not overly long but thick, very thick. Much thicker than any other dick Yunho’s has ever fucked, it stretches him almost too wide, but it’s so good that all he can do is moan and grind on it. The physical part of their relationship was never a problem, he always could easily lose himself in it. JaeJoong knows how far he can push without breaking him, even if Yunho himself isn’t always so sure. Strong hands grip his hips so tightly that that he can feel the bruises forming. He likes wearing his lover’s marks. He touches them through the clothes in stressful situations, and they ground him like nothing else.  
There is something raw in the way JaeJoong fucks him. His thighs chafe, and he is sore, but the genuine fondness in JJ’s eyes makes him want more, makes him want to be good for the older man. He moans like he is in heat, hips twisting to get the other man deeper, harder. His prostate is a swollen bundle of pleasure, oversensitive and abused. He doesn't think he can come anymore, he's been milked dry by Jae's hands and tongue, but he needs, _he needs_ JaeJoong to come in him, leave him completely satisfied and sticky with cum leaking out of him. He knows that his lover will eat him out after, lick out every little bit of semen that he can reach.  
Sometimes, he dreams about going back in time, but he knows it wouldn’t change anything. They would end up in the same place, with Jae fucking into him with the knowledge that they will never be anything more. And yet, they are both weirdly at peace with it. Maybe it’s because they grew up not to expect too much.  
Every morning feels like cheating when he wakes up with JaeJoong next to him, and he can’t shake this feeling off. This flat was always supposed to be his and Changmin’s, their safe haven, and he invited another man inside. But it’s also comforting to have someone there for him again. He comes home to a freshly cooked meal and regularly gets fucked on a table or kitchen counters. He is not alone, and that’s more than he’s had in weeks. Changmin not only destroyed them, but also stole one of his best friends, and it's more damaging than Yunho fucking Jae in their flat.  
JaeJoong stays when Yunho needs to go back to Korea for a week, and he doesn't dare to ask. He has a vague idea of what's going on anyway. JYJ has been cracked for a long time now, but it seems that they're finally completely falling apart. JJ doesn't seem too moved by this turn of events, he's probably been mentally preparing himself for it, but it means that, at the moment, there isn't much for him in Korea. Maybe he needs some time way from it as much as Yunho does.  
As silly as it may sound, it's hard not to blame Korea. Yunho hates that he has to hide who he is. It's not that he wants to wave the rainbow flag around, but he wouldn't mind being able to hold his partner's hand in public. There is nothing wrong with being gay, he knows it, but every single one of his partners struggled with it. All of them were born and raised in Korea, and there is no point in pretending that it didn’t have a huge impact on how they perceive sexuality. Maybe some things would never take place were they born somewhere else. Yunho loves his country, but it doesn't stop him from seeing things. Japan is the place that makes him free, even if it's not, and never will be, perfect. But, seeing as Changmin is currently dating a woman, it only works for him.  
They have to prepare for one, short performance with three songs only, and he knows that physically, he is in an amazing shape from all the dancing he's been doing. He almost throws up when he sees his ex-husband, but that's only natural. Changmin... Truth to be told, Changmin doesn't look too hot. He is much thinner than he used to be and the circles under his eyes are so dark that they look painted. A small, vindictive part of Yunho's brain whispers with joy: 'good', but a much bigger part worries. He's been conditioned to worry about the younger man, so he asks; “Are you okay?” while they wait for the make-up artists to come. Changmin looks at him them, almost like he is grateful, happy to talk, but then his eyes zero on something, and he freezes. The bruise. He must have noticed the bruise Jae left on Yunho's collarbone, something that can't really be explained with dancing.  
“You fucking slut,” the other man seethes, hands clenching into fists.  
“Excuse me?”  
“You dumb, fucking...”  
“No, I'm not doing this with you. I'm not the one who cheated, I'm not the one with a girlfriend, so think twice before you say anything more.”  
Changmin must do just that because he doesn't say speak up again. He pushes and scratches a bit too much during the 'Keep your head down' performance though, Yunho almost falls and has to break the routine for a second before he manages to collect himself. At the end of the song they are so close that he can smell Changmin's breath, sweet like candy. He considers saying something after, but he's got a feeling that maybe that's the younger man's angle, so he resists. He is done with the game, completely done.

***

Minho is almost crying into the receiver. It's one am, and Minho never calls him this late – that's the only reason he answered.  
“I just… Hyung, I wanted to tell you that he didn’t cheat on you, okay, he didn’t start sleeping with her when you were together. Please believe me.”  
Yunho wonders why Changmin told Minho about it. He wants to believe his friend, but he is sick of being naïve. He agrees for Minho’s sake only, since the young man seems so distressed.  
“Who is that?” JaeJoong asks sleepily, he kind of looks cute, all swollen lips and disheveled hair.  
Yunho presses a small kiss to his temple, “No one, go back to sleep.”  
He is not good at lying, so it takes another fifteen minutes for Minho to finally give up on trying to convince him. It's kind of obvious that the younger man is more than a little tipsy, so Yunho can't help but wonder whether Changmin is somewhere around. His heart still doesn't seem to get that it doesn't matter anymore. It was always the weakest part of him.  
“Sleep,” JJ murmurs tiredly, so Yunho decides to do just that, letting the older man hold him from behind. He expects at least a few days of peace after that. He deserves them, his life can't be a constant rollercoaster of emotions that he doesn't know how to cope with. He tries to be a good person, genuinely good, not someone who pretends to be good because he wants other people to like him. Sure, everyone wants to feel liked, but it's not – and never has been, Yunho's motivation for being nice to people. So he really doesn't deserve all the crap that's been happening.  
The next day starts with butterfly kisses pressed to his face and a breakfast in bed, JaeJoong is trying to make him feel better after the late call. There is no practice, so it's a lazy morning which ends with Yunho sprawled all over the table, thighs pressed against Jae's muscular chest while the other man pistons into him. It hurts, not because it's too rough but because they've been doing it a lot. But they need the connection it brings, and he knows how to find pleasure in pain. The wood is exceptionally cold under his back, and it makes concentrating on the act harder than it should be. He keeps his eyes closed to make it a little easier. For some reason, JaeJoong's skin is almost too warm where it touches his, burning hot. He is so focused that he doesn't notice that something is off until it's too late, Jae's cock roughly sliding out of him. He cries out in pain, and his eyes snap wide open to see JJ pressed against the wall by a furious Changmin. Yunho freezes for a second, watching the almost-fight. It's not really a fight yet, they aren't moving. But if it becomes one then Changmin will go down fast, Jae is all muscles and raw strength. Unlike some, he didn't bulk up for looks and pulled his weight in the army, some of it transferred to the real life. Yunho almost considers letting them fight. Why not? Why not let JaeJoong beat the shit out of his ex-husband? The youngest man deserves it for everything he's done, but Yunho is too weak when it comes to him. He slides off the table and puts on the first shorts he finds – they definitely aren't his.  
And still, despite everything, touching Changmin feels good. Even if it's only to separate him from Jae. It feels like home, and Yunho immediately feels sick. But he pushes through it, as he pushes his bandmate away, slotting himself between JaeJoong's naked body, and Changmin's fully clothed one. “No fighting,” he says instead of asking the real question.  
“I want him out of our flat.”  
JJ snickers behind him because he is like that, always riling up people, and strong hands come to rest on his hips, squeezing them lightly. “You really can't make any demands.”  
“Fine,” Changmin snarls, “but we need to talk.”  
Yunho would point out that it sounds like yet another demand, but he takes a deep breath instead and leads Changmin towards the bedroom. It's the last place he wants to be in, but there is no other choice. Talking in a bathroom would make everything even more weird and uncomfortable.  
“Why are you here?”  
“Minho told me he heard some guy while he was talking with you.”  
“Seriously? So you what, flew over to check who it was?”  
“Of course I decided to check, you're my...”  
“Nothing, you made that clear some time ago. Why are you here?” Yunho calmly repeats his question. He sits on a bed, because it's the only thing available, and watches Changmin pace.  
“Of all men available, you go back to him!” the younger man finally spits out, voice filled with betrayal. It was unavoidable, the only way everything could end. The animosity between the two always overshadowed everything, even when they were still together in a band.  
He strikes back with, “So many men available, yet you choose a girl, my best friend” and watches somewhat amused as the hit lands.  
“Don’t you get it? I have to be straight!”  
“Of course you do,” Yunho nods, like it makes sense to him.  
“My father,” Changmin starts with a shout, but then lowers his voice, “my dad told me that he will renounce me if I ‘don’t stop this silliness and be normal.’” Yunho has to admit that the younger man sounds just like his father.  
“You chose to be normal, okay, straight,” he gives a short, curt nod, the words taste bitter on his tongue, “How is that treating you? Not so well, I assume, since you are here.”  
“Why are you talking to me like that? You never… not to me.”  
“We were married, Changmin. You proposed, not me. And now you’re telling me that you threw it all away because your family doesn’t approve. You knew that before, they never approved of me.”  
Yunho knows that the younger man isn’t lying, his father never liked their relationship, thought it was a mistake they’d regret. He once accused Yunho of seducing Changmin into the ‘gay lifestyle’, which was laughable because it was the younger man who seduced him, took him to bed before he was convinced it’s a good idea.  
“I was stupid. I thought you’d forgive me, that my family would be happy. But once they got what they wanted, they started pressing for children, and I realized they will never be happy with me. I know I fucked up and hurt you, but I did not end things because I didn’t love you anymore.”  
“What am I supposed to do with this information?”  
“I’m done trying to make them proud of me. I’m sorry, Yunho.”  
Changmin finally sits next to him, but not close enough to touch. It’s good, Yunho isn’t sure he could deal with touching him just yet. He missed the other man. Missed him more than anything else, but the pain he experienced is too big to be ignored. And he isn’t sure he can trust Changmin.  
“Why Boa? Why not some random girl?”  
“She is always around us, always close. I swear I didn’t force her, she wanted to be with me. I know I hurt her too, she was looking for something serious, wanted to start a family, but I’d choose you over her any time.”  
Yunho wonders if he should feel sorry for Boa, but he always thought that she was one of his best friends. And she was willing to forget about all of it just to be happy herself. Maybe he is a bit idealistic, but he doesn’t think that’s how the friendship is supposed to work. Changmin’s reasoning might sound ridiculous to some, he is too old to be bothered by his family’s demands, but Yunho knows how difficult it is to shake off the past.  
“I don’t think you understand what you’ve done, Changmin. It’s not only us, it’s our careers, our fans, they don’t know we were a couple, but you and Boa...”  
“I know, it will be a PR nightmare, but we can do it together, right?”  
Yunho can feel the bed move, and then Changmin kneels in front of him with a hopeful look on his face. He puts one, bony hand on Yunho’s knee, and the older man wants to crawl away. He also wants to stay.  
“There are no words that would be enough, I know. But if you give me another chance, I’ll prove myself to you. I never stopped loving you.”

Changmin reluctantly agrees to go to a hotel after Yunho promises not to have sex with JaeJoong again. The two men glare at each other when Changmin walks through the kitchen, but they don’t try to fight again.  
When the door closes, Yunho sits down next to the mostly dressed Jae, and they share a cigarette. He doesn’t usually smoke, but he needs it now. He doesn’t know what he feels at the moment. Some of it is definitely relief, but everything else is an incomprehensible mess.  
“So you’re taking him back?”  
“I guess… After enough grovelling. I might take him to the church, he will hate that.”  
They both laugh somewhat sadly.  
“We’re done, huh?”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No, I always knew it wouldn’t last,” JaeJoong says and tries to smile, but it ends up resembling a cringe more than a genuine smile. Still, he gets up and kisses Yunho’s temple, “I hope you two work out. But I will kill him if he hurts you again.”  
At night, they fall asleep together, in one bed, hugging each other tightly. They don’t kiss, they definitely don’t have sex, but it’s the least Yunho can do. He needs it too, otherwise he would stay up the whole night, thinking and worrying. JaeJoong leaves the next day with a promise to stay in touch. To stay friends.  
Usually, Yunho is quick to forgive and forget. Not this time, though. His mom always told him that if something is easy, then it’s not worth fighting for, and he wants Changmin to fight nail and tooth for their relationship.  
The first time the younger man comes over, Yunho discovers that they have to learn to be around each other again. He flinches when Changmin tries to touch his cheek because the same hand touched Boa, touched the most intimate parts of her soft, female body.  
Yunho loves Changmin, he will never stop loving the other man. He missed the mismatched eyes, sticking out ears and the too-wide smile. He even missed the nagging.  
His friends have a lot to say to Changmin, especially Heechul who never spares his words. The knowledge that there is always someone he can rely on makes Yunho feel safe. He still can’t look at Boa who keeps calling the younger vocalist. Even if Yunho could forgive her, it doesn’t seem that Boa wants his forgiveness. And he is not a saint.  
Yunho knows that they are going to be okay because Changmin comes to the church with him, suffers through the conversation with a priest, and doesn’t complain once. Then he talks with Jihye and listens to her with his head bowed in shame. He showers Yunho with affection and love, and looks at him the way he used to before.  
But mostly, Yunho knows that they will be okay because he doesn’t know how to stop loving Changmin.


End file.
